


What the fuck, Spades?

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, SPY WORMS, Spades gets fucking WASTED, The Midnight Crew is tired of Spades' shit, who fucking left gummy worms around the base
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-04-12 13:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21634600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The Midnight Crew go back to base after a particularly good heist and get drunk.Spades Slick, especially.
Relationships: Diamonds Droog/Spades Slick, not really but it's implied
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	What the fuck, Spades?

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea my boyfriend and I came up late last night. Short, sweet, and silly!

It was one of those nights.

You know the ones - the kind where the Crew head back to base after a particularly great heist and bust out the good brandy. The kind where everyone is usually a little more than buzzed by the time they head to bed.

Well… except for Slick.

Slick’s drunk off of his mind.

So, while the others were pleasantly tipsy, laughing and enjoying some tunes, the boss was already tripping over his own feet, speech slurred. Either he had double the drinks the rest of them had, or… he was just a fuckin’ lightweight.

Knowing Spades Slick, it could’ve been either or.

“Hoooly SHIT, DROOG-” The boss man yelled, leaning on his second-in-command and pointing at the ground. “Thas’a fuckin’ WORM!” He was right - there was, in fact, a small worm crawling across the parlor floor.

“Boss, what’re you on about-” Droog answered exasperatedly, wrapping an arm around the smaller dersite to stop him from falling.

“LOOK!” Slick pointed at the worm again. “There’s a fuckin’ WORM on th’ groun’, Diamonds!”

“I can see that...”

“Well fuckin’... see it HARDER!” Droog cringed away at his boss’ drunken loudness. Meanwhile, Slick hazily squinted down at the poor worm. “I bet it’s one’a those SPY worms…”

“Boss-”

“SHHH!” Slick put a finger to Droog’s lips, who gently smacked it away. “They’ll HEAR ya’, Droog!... I bet the FELT sent ‘em… they’s SPYIN’ on us, Droog! Fuckin’... Snowman sent it, I bet! She’s just waitin’... waitin’ an’ spyin’...”

“Slick, I think you’ve had too much to drink-”

“Oh SHIT!” Slick shouted, pointing at another worm. “THEY’S MULTIPLYIN’, DROOG! TH’ SPY WORMS ‘RE FUCKIN’ MULTIPLYIN’! BOXCARS, FUCKIN’... KILL ‘EM-”

The brute rolled his eyes, stepping over to the first worm. Instead of killing them like instructed, he simply picked it up and gave it a look over.

“Boss… these’re gummy worms.” He said.

“... What.”

“They’re gummy worms.”

The room was silent.

“... They’re fuckin’ SPY GUMMY WORMS!”

“Alright,” Droog piped up, gently removing the glass of brandy from Slick’s hand and picking him up. “I think it’s time you head off to bed.”

“NO, DROOG, ‘M TELLIN’ YA, THEY’S SPYIN’ ON US-” Droog was not listening, carrying Slick off to his room.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
